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Post by Hêrø on Oct 24, 2006 19:09:20 GMT -5
Yes I write so...
Gone
Now you're gone and here I am, Without you I no longer give a damn. You were everything to me, Everything I wish I could be. You made me whole, You filled the gap in my soul. If my tears could build a staircase, I'd climb all the way to heaven just to see your face. But I know that it cannot be, So all I ask is for you to watch over me. While I sleep, while I go through life, Keep me safe and away from strife. Now I lay down and go to sleep, Your heart, your memories, I will forever keep.
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Post by Flash/tFk on Oct 24, 2006 20:37:47 GMT -5
wow i didnt know you were deep hero. *sniffles* it was well written. the first little bit maybe the word order may be changed a bit because it doesnt flow as well as the ending part. it may just be me though. Goodjob Heronub!
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Post by Fate|Speed[Y]Ninja on Oct 24, 2006 20:58:00 GMT -5
Now you're gone and here I am, Without you I no longer give a damn tis makes it sounds lyk a rap XD
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Post by :[DS]: Merox on Oct 24, 2006 21:43:21 GMT -5
I like these 2 sets of lines the best: "You were everything to me, Everything I wish I could be." "Now I lay down and go to sleep, Your heart, your memories, I will forever keep." *exalts* Very good poem
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Post by spik3 on Oct 25, 2006 13:37:56 GMT -5
"If my tears could build a staircase id climb all the way to heaven just to see your face"I liked that one.
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Post by DeaDeYe on Oct 25, 2006 13:50:16 GMT -5
It almost made me cry, awesome Hero.
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Post by Russel on Oct 25, 2006 13:56:34 GMT -5
nublove how sweet.
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Post by Hêrø on Oct 25, 2006 15:41:03 GMT -5
Shh russ Lets see you try something creative >_>
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Post by :[DS]: Battôsai on Oct 26, 2006 0:32:36 GMT -5
Beautiful, hero. There are a couple places I'd recommend filling in with a few more syllables, to make the rhythm smoother. But aside from that, beautiful. <3
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Post by Russel on Oct 26, 2006 11:21:16 GMT -5
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Post by Chariot is Legend! on Oct 27, 2006 9:07:53 GMT -5
Nice poem.
PS: WHATS WITH ALL TEH POETRY LATELY!?!?!?1!!?!!/!!/!?!!!?!?!
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Post by :[DS]: Battôsai on Oct 27, 2006 11:18:43 GMT -5
I dunno, but it's nice to have some in the creative arts section again ^_^
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Post by Monkeh on Oct 27, 2006 18:20:28 GMT -5
If my tears could build a staircase, I'd climb all the way to heaven just to see your face. Aw cmon U made that up by urself? I dont belive it. Its beautiful (gona pick me up some chicks with this one)
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Post by Fate|Speed[Y]Ninja on Oct 30, 2006 7:29:18 GMT -5
If my tears could build a staircase, I'd climb all the way to heaven just to slap your face. tis would be a nice quote to describe abused children by their mom, who's now dead in heaven
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Post by Chariot is Legend! on Nov 2, 2006 10:22:10 GMT -5
If my tears could build a staircase, I'd climb all the way to heaven just to slap your face. tis would be a nice quote to describe abused children by their mom, who's now dead in heaven I'm quoting that in my sig.
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